For When it Just Does't Work
by Crimson Siyrean
Summary: Tenten's doing it to make a point to her friends. Kakashi's forcing him because it amuses him. So now Tenzou's stuck going on a date with this girl of questionable sanity, who's never even seen his face before. But apparently she likes his... one shot


.

Summary: Frustraited with Ino's antics claiming that she doesn't act enough like a girl, Tenten's doing it to make a point to her friends. Kakashi's forcing him because he just thinks its hilarious. So now Tenzou's stuck going on a date with this brown haired, doe eyed, walking disaster who's never even seen his face before.

A/N: Poor Tenzou, he just never gets the pairing love, so I wanted to try him with someone who not Kakashi or Sakura to show that yes, he too deserves to be playing the Konoha pairing field just like the rest of them. And you know what, it's okay when pairings don't work too. So I'm here to launch a new ship, the TripleTen. Get it? Tenten/Tenzou?

It's funny, shut up

Oh, to my DOM fans, I've actually got an out take at the end of this that was actually a little nod to all you guys. I had it in originally, but thinking about it, it just really didn't feel natural to the scene so I left it as a little extra.

.

* * *

.

**For When it Just Doesn't Work**

.

.

Tenten stood there glaring at the two girls before her, her face red, nostrils flaring. "That's not true."

"Right," Ino said, rolling her eyes. "And when's the last time you were out on a date then?"

"What does that have to do with anything," Tenten replied, crossing her arms and secretly wishing she could solve this problem the one way she was always good at, by shoving something pointy into it.

Ino took a small step back, seeing a malevolent glint cross the girl's eye.

"Come on, Tenten." This time it was Sakura. "We're not trying to be mean or anything, it's just… you're kind of a tomboy."

The weapons mistress raised an eyebrow. "Is that supposed to insult me?"

"Of course not," Sakura immediately defended. "There's nothing wrong with being you, but you know, it's okay to be a girl too, you know."

"I can be a girl!" Tenten cried, affronted. "What, you think I don't like men or something? That I can't flirt or pick someone up for the night?"

Ino let out a loud moan. "You see, that's just what I'm talking about. You're the girl, Tenten. You don't '_pick someone up for the night'_."

"Whatever," the brown haired kunoichi dismissed.

"Alright, fine," Ino exclaimed after a moments thought. Tenten did not like the way she was smiling. "If your ways are so superior-"

"I never said –"

"Then show us. Use your _whiles_ to get the next guy I point out, to ask you for a date," she finished with a self satisfied smirk.

Tenten couldn't believe what was going on, and her desire for pointy things was growing. "Why should I? What do I care?"

"Eh?"

"What's the point of me playing your stupid game, Ino?" Tenten exasperated. "You're just going to point out the most humiliating clout for me to make a fool of myself in front of. And why do I want with a date with some stranger?"

Ino frowned before turning to her pink haired friend. The two girls whispered back and forth for a few minute, in which Tenten took the time to clean her nails with a kunai, not terribly concerned and feeling infinitely more comfortable with live steel in her hand.

"Alright fine," Ino suddenly announced. "After some serious debate, the two of us have come to a compromise."

"How does that even wor-"

"Ino here," Sakura began, as though reading off a cue card. "Is going to going to first demonstrate her method for picking up men. You will point out a guy, and she will either receive or successfully ask for the guy's number."

Tenten stared, still trying to figure out what the hell was going on.

"Then, once she's successful, and with your discretion, we'll all decide together on a target for you to prove your worth with." When Sakura finished, the two girls stared at the older kunoichi looking particularly proud.

Tenten remained unmoved. "Come again?"

"Oh, just point to someone," Ino huffed, grapping the girl's wrist and moving it as though to point at a random passer by on the street.

"Alright, fine. But I'm still not playing this-"

"Aha!" Ino cried in triumph, and then before Tenten could say a word raced off down the street.

"Oh, you picked good. You were being nice," Sakura said with a smile. "With this stupid game she's putting you through, I would've picked an uggo, but then again I guess that would've made it real easy for her."

Tenten blinked, staring after the blonde as she pushed her way towards some unfortunate male. _Did I even point, _she asked herself. _And does Sakura figure she's getting out of this? _

A few minutes later Ino came back, practically glowing. "Well, there you have it," she said with a wide smile and holding up a piece of paper. "Simple as pie. I might even call him, he wasn't that bad. Thank you, Tenten."

"It was nothing, really," she deadpanned.

"Alright, now someone we can all agree on," Ino continued, as she let her eyes scout the area. "Do you like redheads..?" The blonde turned to her as though looking for an answer. Tenten stared. "Alright fine. How about… got anything against facial hair? Large scars? Strange birth marks?" The girl continued to look. "Oh I know! But first tell me, how do you feel about large noses?"

That was it. There was only so much a certified weapons mistress could take.

"Look, you know what," Tenten suddenly burst out. "First of all, I think you're nuts and that your obsession with seduction games probably roots from some deep seeded childhood trauma." Ino's mouth dropped. "However, I am going to play your stupid game and I choose _him_."

The girls' eyes all followed to where Tenten's hand had pointed, and then frowned.

"Kakashi sensei?" Sakura asked in disbelief, her mouth undergoing some strange half smile, half gag.

Tenten shot her a look. "Not him, the other one."

"The Anbu?" countered Ino.

"Yes." _It was perfect._

"But… you can't see his face."

Tenten snorted. "Exactly." If she wasn't so mad, she likely would've burst out laughing at the look of utter confusion that twisted it's self on Ino's face.

"So then, why did you pick him?" both Ino and Sakura asked in unison.

Tenten decided to shrug. "He's got a nice ass."

They both looked.

"Eh, it's not bad, I suppose," Ino admitted but before she could ask any more, Tenten began strutting over to the two men, seeming to be conversing in a casual conversation.

"50 ryo says she makes it," Sakura said.

"You're on," the blonde replied.

.

.

Tenzou was just handing a scroll over to his disinterested and otherwise Icha Icha occupied senpai, when a barreling brown haired girl carrying a Styrofoam cup went crashing into him, somehow managing to spill hot tea everywhere.

"Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry," the girl rushed out, as the two disentangled and righted themselves. "That was completely my fault, I'm so sorry, I was just…"

The Anbu sighed, looking down at his tea stained, wet armor and then over to see that _yes_, the missions report he had just handed over for Kakashi to finish was completely soaked and ruined. Strangely, despite having held it, Kakashi was suspiciously dry.

The man shrugged. "Just a bad angle I suppose," he said, taking note of Tenzou's stare.

Suppressing a groan, the Anbu turned his attention back to the babbling girl that was going on about seeing a missing button? But realizing it was really a beetle and after jumping in surprise, tripped and landed on him… or something. He was only catching part words as his head was too busy throbbing, thinking of all the work he'd have to redo now for that report.

"So anyways, I am really sorry. Is there anything I can do to make this-"

"You wouldn't happen to have another one of these, would you?" Kakashi's voice interrupted. He was holding out the wet scroll with one hand, and kept his face buried in Icha Icha with the other.

The girl cringed. "Er, no… Was that important?"

Both men answered at once.

"No."

"Yes."

If it wasn't for the stupid mask he was wearing, Tenzou would've pinched the bridge of his nose. "Yes, it was," he corrected, sparing his counter part yet another withering glance. "Please excuse me. I have a lot of work to redo."

He then made to leave but just as he was about to, the girl grabbed hold of his arm.

"Wait," she cried, stopping him in his tracks. The man froze at the contact and stared. There was an unspoken rule in the village, one that if you see an Anbu officer, you don't touch them. Even Kakashi's eye had risen at the motion. It was, after all, a very easy way to get your self unintentionally killed.

The girl dropped her hand but continued on, acting oblivious to the faux pas she'd just committed. "Look there's got to be something I can do. I don't know; let me buy you lunch or something. I've got it; I'll take you to dinner!"

"Tenten," Kakashi's voice came out slowly. "What are you playing at?"

Tenzou's brow furrowed as he looked down at the teenaged girl grinning hopefully up at him. It sounded like she was angling for a date… Which meant this whole thing was a set up. Did she know who he was?

"Do you know who I am?" he asked logically, wondering what the hell was going on.

"Not a clue," she replied simply and completely ignoring Kakashi, who had finally begun to interest in the on going scene.

He sighed. "Yet you deliberately crashed into me, as a means to ask me out?"

Tenten's eyes shifted away. "Maybe." Then looked back. "Will that count against me? For the record, ruining your scroll was not part of the plan."

_No, that was part of Kakashi's plan_, Tenzou thought with no small exasperation. The girl was still looking up at him with large doe eyes and a toothy grin. "Why?" he asked, completely unsure of himself. Sure, she was a cute kid, but this entire situation was just… "Why when you don't even know me, what I look like, nor have any idea as to who I am?"

She shrugged. "What's life without a little mystery? Besides," she added with a bemused smile. "You've got a nice ass."

Tenzou's mouth dropped and he was suddenly glad for the mask covering his blush. He then risked a glance to Kakashi and saw him smiling in amusement.

"Well she's got you there," the Jounin replied, apparently unable to help himself. Tenzou's blush doubled.

"Thank you," the girl grinned.

"However there's still one problem," Kakashi continued. "Anbu have to remain anonymous and wearing an Anbu mask to a dinner date can be a bit cumbersome."

Tenten gave an unimpressed eyebrow. "I'm a kunoichi in a hidden village. I know a half dozen Anbu personally; will likely know half the corps within a few years. I mean, it's not exactly a well kept secret when you've got the bloody thing tattooed permanently to your arm. Besides, say I see a random guy on the street, take him back to my place for a little down and dirty-"

"Is this how you pick up dates?" Tenzou cut in, his head suddenly spinning.

"Hypothetically," she corrected, shaking her head. "As I was saying, we get making with the babies, and lo and behold, I see a tattoo." The girl clapped. "Bam, busted."

Again, Tenzou found himself turning to his sempai, as though he could some shred of insight into this strange girl. And again, Kakashi simply shrugged. "She's on Gai's team."

Tenzou didn't know much about Gai's team, but he knew Gai, and he knew that he was, well… He supposed that could be used as a valid explanation.

"Why do people keep bringing that up?" Tenten fumed with a scowl. "We're not that bad."

"Personally I think you should go for it," Kakashi announced, startling both Tenzou and Tenten from their thoughts.

"What?" Tenzou all but shouted. Was this just another joke?

"She makes a good argument, and you could use a night off. Besides, your names even go together. Maybe it's fate."

"Oh, really?" the girl asked, looking up all hopeful once more. "What's your name?"

Tenzou scowled in frustration. "I'm not authorized to reveal such information while under uniform, as Kakashi well knows."

"So then… will you go out with me?" she once again prodded.

"Go on, Tenzou," Kakashi smirked. "Have a little fun." He then moved in close and held his hand to the other man's ear. "And then maybe you can find out what she's really up to."

Sighing to himself, Tenzou knew he really wasn't given much of a choice now, however that didn't stop him from wanting to wring the Jounin's neck right then and there. "Alright, fine."

"Great!" Tenten beamed. "You know that restaurant two blocks over, the one with the patio?" The Anbu nodded in defeat. "Good, meet you at 8. I should get going though. See you tonight… Tenzou."

Tenzou flinched while the girl then treated him to her brightest smile and made her way down the street. "What the hell just happened?"

Kakashi shrugged, bringing his book back up to his face. "You owe me."

"What?"

"Well I did just get you a date," the Jounin replied and then just started walking away, nose buried.

"One day," Tenzou muttered, getting ready to go back to work. "One day, heh… I'm going to kill him."

.

* * *

.

That night, Tenten stood out side the small restaurant, waiting patiently for her mystery date. Despite Ino and Sakura's prodding, she had opted to wear her typical three quarter length blue pants, and a purple sleeveless, collared shirt, with blue trim. She had on a hint of lip stick but that was as far as her dressing up went. She wasn't even sure what she was trying to prove anymore. The girls had just been so frustrating; she'd acted on impulse. Now she was stuck on what was basically a blind date, and she had no one to blame but herself.

With a sigh, Tenten continued to eye all the passers by, wondering what she'd gotten herself into. She was so distracted that she didn't even notice the presence behind her, till she felt a tap on her shoulder. With a jump, she turned to stare up at the man now standing awkwardly before her.

"Um, hi," he said, sounding a little unsure of himself. "I'm Tenzou."

The man was dressed in your typical off duty Jounin's uniform. His face was pretty average, but his eyes for some reason reminded her of Lee. Tenten shook her head distractedly, getting the image out of her head. Well they didn't look like Lee's; they just had that same unique quality. Shrugging, Tenten decided she liked it. Unique trumped average in her book, anyways.

"Huh, not bad," the girl said, after giving him the once over. She then wrapped her arm around his, brushing close. "Well then, shall we?"

Tenzou sighed. "I suppose so."

.

"So… you're considered a weapons mistress?" Tenzou asked, fishing for conversation while they waited for their drinks.

"Yep."

"How's that working out for you?"

"Eh, I get to throw lots of pointy objects and make things go boom. I figure I'm doing well for myself."

"I see…"

.

"So you… make trees?" Tenten asked, wondering not for the first time, how much longer their food would take.

"Not exactly. It's more that, I can grow wood."

_No_, she stopped herself, she'd be good for the night and she was not going to_ touch_ that one…

"Here, I'll show you."

Tenten suddenly put her hands up. "Wow, wow, there's a time and a place for that."

.

Tenzou lifted a fried pepper. "The vegetables are over cooked."

"So they are."

"Pass the salt?"

"Sure."

.

"You mentioned you like fortune telling?"

"Oh yeah, I'm pretty good at it too," the girl answered, brightening immediately.

"Well that must be fun."

"I love it. Here I'll give you a go. I just need to know your date and time of birth, where you were born, and just your general ancestry."

Tenzou frowned for a moment to think that over. "Hmm," he began slowly. "Well what can you tell me if I were to say I was a genetic experiment created by Orochimaru, found in an abandoned lab, with mutated DNA?"

Tenten cringed. "… That you're going to live a long and prosperous life."

"Huh," the man shrugged and then went back to him meal.

.

"So you're on Gai's team. That must be something."

"Yeah, he's something, alright," Tenten waved off.

"I used to get a kick out of watching him and Kakashi at their rivalries. But you know, Kakashi would usually win."

At that, Tenten raised her eyes. "Hey now, I've seen Gai sensei win his fair share. Actually I'm pretty sure right now he's in the lead."

Tenzou gave her a haughty look back. "I don't know about that. I'm sure what Gai says in front of his students-"

"Pfft, like Gai has a single dishonest bone in his body."

"He's a shinobi. And think about it, we're talking in comparison to Kakashi. My senpai is leagues ahead which ever way you look at it. If Gai ever wins, it's probably because he let him."

_Oh, he did not_.

"You're just jealous because you know my sensei could totally kick your sempai's ass," Tenten snapped, her voice raising.

"That would never happen," Tenzou brushed off.

_Really?_ "Gai's stronger."

"Kakashi's smarter," the man countered.

"He's faster."

"A born strategist."

"Top taijutsu specialist in the village."

"Knows more than a thousand jutsu's."

"Yet mine won't pass out from using them." Her voice was rising again.

"The sharingan alone will give him the winning advantage." Unconsciously, Tenzou's had grown too.

"Maybe if he wasn't against the only man in the village that's trained to fight a sharingan user one on one."

A fist thumped the table. "He can open the Mangekyou -"

"Can open Gates!" she nearly yelled.

"Um, excuse me."

"What!" the couple said in unison at the timid waiter who'd stopped by their table.

"But you're disturbing the customers…"

Noticing they did indeed have half the restaurant watching them, they both shrunk down, feeling their faces turn red. "Sorry."

.

Tenten poked her food. "They didn't give us enough sauce."

"I could ask the server for more."

"No, it's alright."

.

"You mentioned you like to build houses?"

"Yes, studying architecture is a hobby of mine. You see most people think that using Mokuton for a house is easy, but you've got to know where exactly all the woods got to go. I mean first you've got to take into consideration the terrain. Are we working with a soft foundation, hard, are we building on stone, or in freezing conditions? Is it going to rain, how's the wind, do we need to worry about a possible enemy attack. And don't even get me started on the fire place. And then of course there's the support beam problem…"

Her eye's glazing over; Tenten slowly began to bang her head against the wall.

"Are you alright?" Tenzou asked, noticing the girl's odd behavior.

"Just peachy. Please, continue."

So he did.

.

Once outside the restaurant, the two looked at each other, neither sure as to what to say. Tenten smiled self-consciously, knowing this really was all her fault. It could hardly be said that either of them had a good time.

Tenzou was the first to break the silence. "Well that was-"

"A disaster, painful, awkward, embarrassing, and quite possibly the worst first date ever?" Tenten cut in, refusing to meet his eye.

"Actually I was going to tactfully say _pleasant_, but those work too," he laughed, shifting his feet. "So, are you ever going to tell me what this whole thing was about?"

"Huh?"

"This date. Why did you really ask me here?" Tenzou clarified, remembering back to Kakashi's words.

"Oh, that." Tenten shrugged. "Well it really was a date, you know. But I only asked you to prove to my friends that I could be a girl."

"Excuse me?"

Tenten deflated, leaning back against the buildings wall. "My friends, they were bugging me, saying that I act too much like a boy and that I could never get a date the way I am."

Tenzou raised an eyebrow. Sure the girl was a little brash at times, but he wouldn't classify her as masculine. Not at all, he thought as he let his eyes wander over her curves. This kunoichi was definitely all woman.

"Anyways, I don't normally care but they then started this stupid game and kept asking for my '_type_' to find for a date. So-"

"So you picked the one person whose attributes you couldn't see at all," he finished for her. The girl nodded with a slight smile. "That was actually quite clever. Respectable too. And you know," he said, giving her a smile of his own. "I don't think your friends know what they're talking about. There's nothing about you that doesn't say woman. It's just it says woman, but it also says a damn fine shinobi too."

At that, the girl met his eyes for the first time since they left the restaurant, a smile spreading across her face. "Thanks, but to be honest, I can't claim to be completely non superficial." His eyebrow rose. "I wasn't lying about the ass bit. That was definitely a deciding factor."

Tenzou felt his face burn red. It was a shame they just seemed to not hit it off, because he was sure who ever this girl ended up with, she would make him an extremely happy man. Tenten pushed herself away from the wall and walked back over to him.

"Well I suppose," Tenzou said, looking down at her once again. "I suppose then, this is goodnight."

She quirked a half smile up at him. "Yeah."

"Well then, goodnight Tenten."

"Goodnight Tenzou," she echoed, though neither of them moved from the spot. She was looking up at him expectantly and then it hit him what she was waiting for. _Oh right!_

Lowering his head, Tenzou made to lightly brush his lips against hers in a simple goodnight kiss. However, as they touched, he found himself lingering for just a bit longer than would constitute an innocent peck, and it seemed she was doing nothing to move away from him either. Finding he didn't seem to mind, he parted slightly and decided to try it again, this time with slightly more pressure.

Again she kissed him back, this time taking a small step closer and letting her hand brush over his cheek to hold him there for just a second longer. And when they broke apart this time, they both shared a pair of equally bemused smiles.

The entire night had felt awkward and forced, yet there wasn't any of that now. Now it just felt-

"Would you like to try that again," the girl asked with a genuine brightness gracing every inch of her features. He didn't need to think of an answer and simply descended on her once more, this time pulling her to him and wrapping his arms snuggly around her waist while hers entwined his neck. Small, calloused fingers wound their way through his hair while their two mouths parted against each other, both wanting more.

_This doesn't make sense,_ Tenzou's mind yelled at him, but at that moment all he wanted to do was for his tongue to explore every inch of this strange girl's mouth and to do so for as long as she would let him. Judging by the fact that she seemed to want the same, he was guessing he didn't need to worry about what did or didn't make sense till later. So he ignored his mind and they stayed.

.

* * *

.

"I don't know if I should call him," Ino sighed, eyeing the phone number she'd received just the previous day with contemplation. "I don't know. Sakura, what do you think? One day makes me seem desperate, doesn't it? The standard is three, right?"

"I don't know. Why are you asking me?" the pinked haired girl replied, not really caring. It was then she spotted Tenten carrying some large bags of groceries, apparently not seeing them. "Oh hey, there's Tenten. We should ask her how her date went."

"Right, like he even showed up," the blonde answered, though that didn't stop her from getting up and following her friend over to where the girl was walking.

When they approached, Tenten had a bright smile on her face and seemed to be practically glowing despite the large bags she was juggling between her arms.

"So, what happened to you last night?" Sakura asked once they fell in step beside her.

"Huh?"

"Your date. How'd it go?" Ino clarified.

"Oh that," Tenten shrugged. "Eh, well to be truthful, it was pretty awful."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, a complete disaster. We had nothing in common."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Sakura said sympathetically. "But you're looking well. Not too put out over it, I guess."

"Of course not. Besides, I've got another one with him tonight." The two girls stared. "Well I've gotta run guys, lots to catch up on from this morning. See you around."

And with that, the brown haired kunoichi turned a corner and disappeared from view. The two stood there, trying to make sense of what it was they had just heard, though Ino was the first to break the stunned silence.

"Wait, _what?"_

_._

_.  
_

"So did you find out what she wanted?"

"Who what wanted?" Tenzou asked handing over yet another copy of the mission's report that was due back yesterday.

Kakashi pocketed the scroll with out a second glance and returned to his reading. "Tenten. Did you find out what she was up to?"

"It really was just an actual date," the man answered simply. "Though the reason she asked me was to make a point to some superficial friends."

"Ah, well that explains why Ino and Sakura were watching the whole time. Then how'd it go?"

Tenzou shrugged but was unable to hide the smile pulling at his lips. "Terrible."

Kakashi's eye left his book. "Terrible?"

"Yep. I can honestly say that was the worst date I've ever been on." This time Tenzou didn't bother to try to hide his mirth.

Kakashi's brow pinched. "Then why do you seem so happy about it?"

"Because," he grinned, leaning in towards the Jounin. "Afterwards I got to show her _my tattoo_."

Kakashi's mouth dropped as Tenzou deftly turned on heel. "Tsunade needs that scroll back by five," he called over his shoulder. "And it's her you'll answer to this time if it's not."

Finally finding his wits, Kakashi made to respond only to find the man has already disappeared. Shrugging to himself, Kakashi leaned back and continued to read, lightly muttering, "Told you, you owed me." _But no one ever listens_.

.

**The End**

.

* * *

.

A/N: I just want to say, I love crack pairings. I mean, even if they don't work, you can still make it work! That's where the fun of doing these comes from. I was trying to make a Tenten/Tenzou but as I kept working at it, it just kept not happening. So I decided to just go with that rout, and I think it became more entertaining and self satisfiying because of it. Or maybe that's just me. I don't know.

Anyways, please let me know what you think. Reviews are greatly appreciated, especially on one-shots where I don't get to add to the story any more.

.

.

**Out take**

.

"So you picked the one person whose attributes you couldn't see at all," he finished for her. The girl nodded with a slight smile. "That was actually quite cleaver. Respectable too. And you know," he said, giving her a smile of his own. "I don't think your friends know what they're talking about. There's nothing about you that doesn't say woman. It's just it says woman, but it also says a damn fine shinobi too."

At that, the girl met his eyes for the first time since they left the restaurant, a smile spreading across her face. "Thanks, but to be honest, I can't claim to be completely non superficial." His eyebrow rose. "I wasn't lying about the ass bit. That was definitely a deciding factor."

Tenzou felt his face burn red. It was a shame they just seemed to not hit it off, because he was sure who ever this girl ended up with, she would make a very happy man. "Well since we're being honest," he began, wanting to change the subject from away from his ass and its supposed hotness. "I probably wouldn't have shown up tonight but Anko _somehow_ heard about the incident and then made a remark concerning my, uh, questionable bachelorhood."

Tenten snorted. "What? She thinks your gay or something?"

The man cringed. She didn't need to say it like that.

"That's stupid, I don't think you're gay at all," the girl replied with a scowl.

"Yes, well, thank you for that. Neither do I."

"I mean, you're just kinda obsessed with Kakashi sensei is all."

.


End file.
